I’ve come to believe that more and more over the years, adjusting my thoughts and feelings in as positive position as I could muster at any given time. Some days that’s been pretty hard, but over time it has gotten a little bit easier and a little bit easier to where now I know that anything really is possible. I just have to line myself up with it by doing whatever it takes to feel good.
Yesterday my girl showed me that anything is possible and it’s happening right here and now. In addition to two close friends who we haven’t seen for awhile commenting on her increased confidence, she showed it to me too.
It was a great day with a rough patch between Mary and her grandmother. Those two have had an abrasive relationship over the years, each of them sifting and sorting their own negative emotions and then taking them out on each other. Since Gran lives with us, it can make for some testy situations.
But yesterday, yesterday Mary showed up differently. The two of them had their spat, complete with emotions running high and unkind words being said. This time though, my girl said clearly, “I want to have a family meeting.” After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I set that meeting in motion.
It wasn’t the easiest meeting we’ve ever had. It’s tough to break out of our old ways and try something new, particularly when we’re raw and sensitive and protective. But we made progress. Each side heard what the other was experiencing, and being heard is often what it’s all about. Each side got to express what they wanted, and we acknowledged that we are moving forward because we love each other and we have a desire for things to be better.
While the feuding girls came to a new place of resolution in their relationship, I found myself getting thrown off a bit. I was conscious of playing the role of Switzerland, ever neutral in the peace talks, and realized I was letting my girl be completely independent and solve this herself. My protective mommy self had to not just take a back seat, it couldn’t even be along for the ride.
Now that’s a shift for this momma. Protecting my girl at epic levels for years of traumas, hospitalizations, and all sorts of ability issues has honed that particular skill set to world champion levels. I’m a professional. But this day, I had yet another reason to let it go.
My girl can handle it herself.